Introduction – Encouraging Compassionate Self-Reflection

Simple assessment questions (module #6) establish rapport and give you insight into your client’s experiences and perspectives. Self-reflection questions can be a part of your assessment but are also a powerful intervention. These questions challenge the client’s thinking and can help them look at their experiences differently. This shift can profoundly change your client’s beliefs and lead to long-term, significant progress. Helping clients reach these “aha moments” is rewarding!  

Assessment and self-reflection questions overlap, but their intent is different. The assessment questions are for you to learn more about the client (and establish rapport), and the self-reflection questions are for the client to learn about themselves.

Don’t jump in too quickly. Before asking these deeper questions, you need to:

  • Establish a strong rapport. Self-reflection questions can make a client uncomfortable and potentially defensive. They may withdraw from the therapeutic relationship if you have not established trust.
  • Understand the client’s struggles and experiences (thorough assessment) to craft insightful questions.
  • If necessary, help clients out of reactive mode (module #9). It is very challenging to reflect in reactive mode.  

Encourage self-compassion. Clients may realize they have contributed to their suffering (we all do!) and feel angry at themselves. Self-compassion provides the grace to learn from past mistakes.

Active listening is essential! Summarize what the client said (or alluded to) and ask if your summary is accurate. This process often helps clients identify something they are feeling but are struggling to pinpoint. For example, clients may suspect their internet research has trapped them in a vicious cycle but do not fully appreciate the severity until they talk it through.