Clare
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Hello 😊 It has taken me a bit of time this week to get my head around what this looks like for me. I have been in the C-Fast Trap for decades that I struggled to connect with the ideas and suggestions. I could only see problems with any of the suggestions. Then I realised what Wendy was talking about. I think to some extent I have already been practicing some of the principles. I get enjoyment from the aesthetics of my environment. We recently had our house renovated and the bathroom and kitchen were significant improvements. The kitchen is a beautiful space now and I also took care with the styling to enhance the renos. We have a whimsical retro set of china that is a pleasure to use and we inherited some lovely crystal glassware from my father-in-law. I like to use the glasses every night to add enjoyment to our dinners. My husband likes to take care with meal platings. I haven’t drunk tea for years (more food rules) but I have started drinking soy milk so I have that in a mug because I enjoy the experience of drinking out of the mug. I have been experimenting with making smoothies as I have fond memories of my Dad making us them when we were kids. It occurred to me this morning I could buy some straws for added fun. A nice glass adds to the enjoyment. I am planning to make my mother’s Date & Walnut loaf this weekend. I have decided to include foods like this and my Elderflower soda evening drink even though they don’t fit into my food rules because they bring me joy and connection. 💗 I also finally got my music library set up on my iPhone so I am now enjoying music again. 🕺🏻
I have felt the same Teresa. It has been a very isolating experience for me. 💗
I think mine started from a gastro event when I was 19 which also coincided with a major life trauma and moving away from home and friends. My digestion never recovered and I started down a journey of ‘health’ food and reading everything I could find at the time on digestion, food and health. It has been a long and winding road of internet rabbit holes, alternative health providers and trying every elimination diet out there. My health got worse in my 40’s after another major life trauma, trying another diet and perimenopause. About 7 years ago I realised I had an eating disorder and that I had conditioned food sensitivities but didn’t have a name for it or know how to reverse it. Thanks to you Wendy I understand what is going on and have hope I can get to a better place with food and my health.
When I am in reactive mode, I feel overwhelmed by everything in my life. I try and control everything around me and also want to push everyone and everything away. I have no idea what to eat and will oscillate between not eating and then binging on whatever I can find in the house. I will blame myself and have a lot of negative thoughts. In the past I would also usually go down a ‘health’ rabbit hole but thankfully I managed to stop that. I will still have thoughts that if I could find the ‘right diet’ I could be ‘fixed’.
I am finding checking my breathing helpful. When I start thinking about my symptoms and food and move my focus to my breathing instead. I am feeling more hopeful.
I have been using the Protector visualisation for a couple of weeks now. I am enjoying it and finding it helpful. The physical characteristics of my protector are interesting to note and reflect upon. With my history I know I have an over developed protector. I am finding that at the beginning of the visualisation I get a lot of yawning and my breathing can be jerky. I can struggle with relaxing and think I have relaxed but my body says otherwise. Hopefully, repetition will eventually make a difference.
